8 year old: Effective Solutions for Behavioural Concerns | daar

Ben (Name changed for privacy) is an energetic and intelligent boy who loves building complex Lego structures and playing soccer. He lives with his parents and younger sister. While bright, Ben has increasingly struggled with emotional regulation as academic and social demands at school have increased.

Presenting Issues:

• Defiance & Argumentativeness: Frequently refusing to follow instructions, arguing with adults, and blaming others for his mistakes.
• Explosive Outbursts: Intense anger when frustrated, often leading to shouting or throwing items.
• School Disruption: Refusal to complete classwork and disruptive behaviour during transitions.

The Challenge

Ben’s parents felt like they were constantly "walking on eggshells." Simple requests to put on shoes or start homework would often escalate into hour-long battles.

Impact at Home & School:

• At Home: The constant conflict was exhausting for the entire family. Ben’s younger sister had started to mimic his defiant language, and his parents felt their discipline strategies were failing.
• At School: Ben’s teacher reported that while he understood the material, his refusal to participate was affecting his grades. He was frequently sent to the principal’s office for disruptive outbursts, leading to social isolation from his peers.
• Emotional Toll: Ben often felt remorseful after an outburst but lacked the skills to stop himself in the moment, leading to a cycle of shame and further frustration.

We used to think Ben was just being difficult on purpose. Learning that he actually lacked the skills to handle his frustration changed everything. Once we stopped fighting him and started coaching him, the change was incredible.

daar Therapy Approach

Ben’s family reached out to daar for support. Our team recognized that Ben’s behaviour was a form of communication—he was struggling to manage "big feelings" of frustration and anxiety. We implemented a positive behaviour support plan focused on emotional regulation and consistent parenting strategies.

Key Interventions Implemented:

• Identifying Triggers: We worked with Ben and his parents to identify the specific triggers for his outbursts (e.g., transitioning away from a preferred activity, difficult math problems).
• The "Calm-Down Plan": We helped Ben create a personalized self-regulation toolkit. This included a "calm-down corner" at home with sensory tools and a visual guide for deep breathing exercises.
• Positive Discipline: We shifted the focus from punishment to reinforcement. Ben’s parents implemented a point system where he earned rewards for specific positive behaviours, such as "following directions the first time" or "using a calm voice."
• Socialised Behaviour Therapy: In sessions, Ben practiced problem-solving skills. He learned to recognize the physical signs of anger (clenched fists, hot face) and use his calming strategies before exploding.
• Parent Training: We coached Ben’s parents on the "authoritative" parenting style—setting firm, clear boundaries while remaining warm and supportive. They learned to give effective, one-step directions to reduce confusion.

Call Us

+02 9133 2500

Refer Now

Results and Progress

Over a period of four months, the combination of skill-building for Ben and consistency from his parents led to a dramatic reduction in behavioural concerns.

Measurable Improvements:

• Reduction in Outbursts: Explosive tantrums decreased from daily occurrences to less than once every two weeks.
• School Success: Ben is now completing his classwork independently. The school has not had to call home for behavioural issues in over two months.
• Improved Compliance: Ben now follows instructions within two reminders 90% of the time.
• Emotional Awareness: Ben is able to verbalize his feelings ("I am feeling frustrated with this math") rather than acting them out.

Key Outcomes

Ben’s success illustrates that child behaviour and progress are achievable when the underlying emotional needs are addressed.

• Self-Regulation: Ben now has a toolkit of coping strategies that he uses independently at home and school.
• Family Harmony: The household atmosphere has shifted from conflict to cooperation. Positive interactions now far outweigh the negative ones.
• Academic Confidence: With his behaviour under control, Ben is able to focus on learning and is performing at grade level.

80 %

reduction in frequency of anger outbursts

0

calls from school regarding behaviour in last 2 months

90 %

compliance rate with parental instructions

Conclusion

Behavioural challenges can feel overwhelming, but they are often a sign that a child needs help learning new skills. Ben’s journey proves that with the right behaviour therapy for children, even the most defiant behaviours can be transformed into cooperation and confidence.

If you are struggling with a child who is defiant, angry, or hard to manage, daar is here to support you. Our evidence-based solutions can help bring peace back to your family.

Ready to find effective solutions for your child?
Contact daar today to schedule a consultation and start your journey toward positive change.