Oliver (Name changed for privacy) is a thoughtful and observant boy with a passion for dinosaurs and space facts. He lives with his parents and younger sister. Oliver has a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and was referred to daar due to significant challenges with pragmatic language (social communication).
Presenting Issues:
- Difficulty with Reciprocal Conversation: Oliver could speak at length about his interests but struggled to ask questions or listen to others, often "monologuing" rather than conversing.
- Misinterpreting Non-Verbal Cues: He frequently missed social signals, such as a peer looking bored or stepping away, leading to awkward interactions.
- Social Isolation: At school, Oliver spent most recess breaks walking the perimeter of the Playground alone, unsure of how to join a game or approach a group.
The Challenge
For Oliver’s parents, the heartbreak wasn't that Oliver didn't want friends—it was that he desperately wanted them but didn't know how to make them.
Impact at Home & School:
- At School: Teachers reported that while Oliver was academically bright, he was socially "invisible." He would often stand near a group of children, waiting to be invited in, but never saying a word. When he did try to engage, he would often interrupt with an unrelated fact, causing peers to walk away.
- At Home: Oliver would come home in tears, asking, "Why doesn't anyone want to play with me?" His frustration often manifested as withdrawal; he would retreat to his room for hours, refusing to engage with his family.
- Emotional Toll: The repeated social rejections were chipping away at his self-esteem. He began to label himself as "weird" and expressed anxiety about going to school on days with unstructured social time (like sports days or excursions).
It was like watching a lightbulb turn on. daar didn't change who Oliver was; they just gave him the translation book for the social world. Seeing him run off to play with a friend for the first time was a moment we'll never forget.
daar Therapy Approach
Oliver’s family partnered with daar for a targeted Social Communication program. We combined Speech Therapy with Socialised Behaviour Therapy to teach the "hidden curriculum" of social interaction.
Key Interventions Implemented:
- Video Modeling: We used video clips of social interactions to help Oliver identify non-verbal cues. We would pause the video and ask, "Look at his face. Is he interested or bored? How do we know?" This helped Oliver learn to "read the room."
- The "Conversation Tennis" Game: To address his monologuing, we introduced the concept of conversation as a tennis match. You hit the ball (speak), then you have to wait for the other person to hit it back (respond). We used a physical ball in sessions to make this concrete.
- Social Scripts & Role-Play: We practiced specific scripts for joining a group, such as "Can I play too?" or "What are you playing?" We role-played these scenarios until Oliver felt comfortable using them.
- Interest-Based Bridging: We taught Oliver how to use his interests to connect rather than dominate. Instead of listing dinosaur facts, he learned to ask, "Do you like T-Rex or Triceratops better?"
- Peer Group Therapy: Once Oliver had the basics, we moved him into a small, supported social group at daar where he could practice his skills with other children in a safe, guided environment.
Results and Progress
The change in Oliver was gradual but profound. As he began to understand the "rules" of engagement, his anxiety decreased, and his natural personality began to shine through.
Measurable Improvements:
- Increased Peer Interaction: Oliver now consistently engages in reciprocal play during recess 4 out of 5 days a week.
- Conversation Skills: He can maintain a back-and-forth conversation on a non-preferred topic for up to 5 turns (previously 0 turns).
- Conflict Resolution: Oliver has learned to identify when a peer is annoyed and can now use a repair strategy (e.g., saying "Sorry" or changing the topic) independently.
- Friendship Formation: For the first time, Oliver was invited to a birthday party by a classmate—a huge milestone for his social confidence.
Key Outcomes
Oliver’s story highlights the importance of explicitly teaching social communication skills.
- Social Skills are Learnable: Just like math or reading, social skills can be taught, practiced, and mastered.
- Confidence Comes from Competence: As Oliver's skills improved, his anxiety naturally dissipated.
- Connection is Key: The ability to communicate effectively is the bridge to friendship and belonging.
Conclusion
Social communication is the foundation of childhood connection. At daar, we believe that no child should have to navigate the Playground alone. Our behaviour therapy for children and speech pathology programs are designed to equip children with the tools they need to build meaningful relationships.
If your child is struggling to make friends or understand the social world, we are here to help.
Ready to help your child connect?
Contact daar today to learn more about our social communication and social skills groups.